I wanted to write this post because this was a personal milestone for me in my life and feel that it needs to be shared. I’ve officially started my journey on 11/09/20 in the midst of the pandemic. Since then I’ve kept a daily log where I wrote down my experiences. I used the log to help me stay on track towards reaching my goal and kicking out porn from my life. Some might think this is an obscene piece, but honestly I’m no one special and I doubt what I have to say really has any importance. There’s a luxury in being a nobody in life.
Why I Went On NoFap
I went on NoFap because my cousin told me about it. At first I was skeptical and said that there’s no way that porn can be addicting nor could it have detrimental affects on men. Porn is porn and I’ve been watching it since I was 11 (Yes that’s really bad and it definitely has done damage towards my developing brain). But he then proceeded to call me a coomer with no self control and that got to me. He planted the seed in me and I started doing some research. I went on the NoFap subreddit, and from there I discovered Your Brain On Porn. I started reading and realized that a lot of my issues I was dealing with in life were mostly because of my pornography addiction. At the time I was dealing with very minor male depression (male depression is associated with anger, restlessness, aggression, and just overall unnecessary toxicity), general anxiety, and feelings of dread and worthlessness. These feelings where especially heightened every time after I would consume porn and climax through it. I’d sit in my chair feeling absolutely worthless and pathetic. It wasn’t until I read through the YBOP research and NoFap threads that I learned these were all normal negative effects of pornography consumption.
I had enough, and on November 9, 2020 I started my NoFap journey. I was scared, but it was worth it to escape my porn addiction and embrace that I had a problem.
The First 90 Days
The first 90 days is known as the NoFap challenge because they say it takes 90 days to “rewire” your neurological pathways to go from being a porn addict to a somewhat recovered person. Brain rewiring never stops and your brain is always either adding new neural pathway connections and “killing” unused old ones. The sad truth is it doesn’t take much to reignite old neural pathways because they’re never fully dead, that’s why you see addicts of different substances always falling back to their old ways because there’s a stimuli that relights the pathways and they act out of addiction rather than out of free will. They are a slave to their internal wiring.
The first week was not that hard, because I’ve done 7 day abstaining periods before. But I noticed that I had triggers that would ignite the neural pathways in my head to watch porn and masturbate. One of them was whenever I would be in the house alone. Whether it would be from everyone leaving the house or me coming home to an empty home, I would immediately hear a voice in my head yelling “Jerk off, do it now! You have the chance!” Overtime that voice got quieter and quieter to the point that I no longer hear it and if I do, it’s so easy to tell it to shut up and eff off.
After the first week, the next two months would be hell. The previous feelings of worthlessness, depression, and anxiety I felt just became magnified and I felt them 1000 times worse. I lost all libido and was going through what was known as the “flatline.” A dark time and is what happens when you go through withdrawal. When you watch porn and masturbate, you are artificially creating dopamine highs and burning out your prefrontal cortex. You are destroying your dopamine receptors and leave your body craving for more like a dope fiend. When I cut porn out I felt terrible and just felt like crying every dam day. Had it not been for the NoFap community and the YBOP success threads/stories I don’t know if I would’ve ever been able to tough it out.
During this 2 month period I would constantly get anxiety attacks, I’d see porn flashes, suffered severe headaches, and just became an overall recluse. What helped me during this period was going outside for a daily walk on the boardwalk. It was during my walks where I started to notice the positive changes that NoFap was doing for me. Before I’d walk outside and not care about what I saw, I took the beauty of the world for granted.
But during this 2 month period of fighting withdrawal, one day while I was walking it was a cold December afternoon and I saw the sun peaking through the clouds. It was like I was looking at a painting and was something so beautiful that it just hit me like a freight train that I was moved to tears. I realized then and there that I was truly beginning to heal and recover. The headaches I felt at the time were what I would call the physical sensation of your brain rewiring itself and realizing it can no longer get that artificial dopamine hit.
Towards the end of my 2 month mark, around day 50 my libido started to come back and I begun practicing mindfulness and meditation. I became a bit more spiritual and felt myself becoming more calm and finding inner peace, bit by bit. I still suffered from nightmares of relapsing, and had overall strange dreams. I still had days where my head would hurt, but they began to fade as time went on.
From Day 60 to 90 things started to go smoother. I started hearing the voice less and less to go watch porn and masturbate and instead started having what I called a “control unit” take control of my urges and actions. Funny enough our prefrontal cortex is our control unit and is responsible for “influencing attention, impulse inhibition, prospective memory, and cognitive flexibility.” I still suffered from my withdrawal symptoms but everyday they became weaker and I started feeling happier and no longer had urges to consume porn or masturbate. It was during the final stretch that I started waking up and realizing just how sexualized everything is in our society and men are definitely to blame for it because they’ve lost their sense of self and are living walking coomers.
During the third month is when I also made the conscious effort to start getting better with people and forced myself to become more of a man. I started by making eye contact with people, then I started with smiling at others. I realized that I had been so weak in dealing with my social muscles because I completely ignored them for so long. This period is when I made a conscious effort to be a person that radiates positive energy instead of one that radiates negative energy. It was during this time where I rediscovered my youth and my inner child. What I mean by this is that I started to find my true self, which is a guy that loves adventures, doing martial arts, surfing, snowboarding, and just living a life like Indiana Jones. Porn had snuffed out my inner fire because it caused me to just think about sex nonstop and it overrode my whole life and being.
Feeling Freer and Happier Than I’ve Ever Felt Before
After the 90 day mark, life got exponentially better. The hardest part in my opinion was the first 60 days, but once you get passed that hurdle, your brain realizes this is the new reality and it begins to adapt and heal. After the 90 day mark the reality becomes the new normal and it becomes infinitely easier to never go back to porn. Between days 90 to 180 I still felt urges, they don’t exactly go away. But the thing is they’re so weak and minimal that you hardly notice them. A good analogy to this is Day 1 urges are like an 10/10 on an Earthquake Magnitude Scale and by Day 90 the urges are like a piece of paper brushing past you. You barely notice it and can easily dismiss them.
From day 90 and beyond I felt free from the chains of pornography addiction and started to see the world for what it really was. I started to appreciate the beauty in everyday things. My daily walks to help get away from the house and fight the urges became meditative and habit, breathing in the fresh ocean air and enjoying the warmth of the sun. I became more social and started training my social muscles more. In a sense I became more extroverted. I started to hate staying at home because if I wasn’t studying or being productive I felt like a prisoner in my room. Another strange phenomenon started occurring for me that I never had before starting NoFap: wet dreams. First time it happened it freaked me out, now I’m used to them and don’t mind, I figure it’s just a healthy thing my body does. I also started to become more optimistic and cheerful in my day to day life. I would wake up feeling happy and ready to take on the day. I began to look people in the eyes now and would smile more often. I started to date women and shifted my perspective on dating, I was no longer looking for just flings or meaningless sex because I was so accustomed to hook up culture and porn pushing the expectation that sex comes first and love after that I treated women terribly. Once I kicked porn out of my life I stopped looking at girls as just a means to have sex, I started seeing them as people with hopes and dreams and as someone’s child. If I were to draw out a curve of my NoFap progression and general happiness, it would definitely look like a wild mess, but in the end it was so worth it.
Things I’ve Noticed After Being Porn Free For A Year
These are some of the key things I’ve noticed about society and myself after being clean from porn and masturbation for a whole year.
There Is A Hyper Sexualization Of Everything In Society Now
It’s no secret. Sex sells and it has been rampant since the 60s. However with modern day internet porn, we are living in a society where the whole male population is so desensitized to nudity and hardcore sex that a woman being practically naked on a billboard in Times Square does nothing to them. Girls are dressing more provocatively and yes while I understand they’re not 100% doing it for guys attention and it’s for themselves/to look good for other girls, it still has negative consequences.
It’s not my place to say how girls should dress. I’m not a woman nor a fashion expert, but it definitely is my place to say that guys are definitely pushing for the less clothes more skin look because we’re so desensitized from porn. Fashion has taken this push of sex positivity and sex craze and pushed onto both sexes.
I believe men are to blame for the hyper sexualization of everything because so many men are just burned out brain dead coomers that just obsess over sex 24/7 due to porn. A quick example of this, and maybe some women will agree with me, is when girls wear a 2 piece workout set which has a crop top and high wasted leggings. I personally have no problem with this and while it does show off a woman’s figure, I don’t think it’s meant to be overtly sexual because they’re comfy workout clothes – and they look nice as well.
But now the issue arises when there’s women that come into the gym wearing booty shorts and a crop top and they’re practically naked. This is the same as a guy wearing those dumb stringer tank tops which just barely hangs on their body and short shorts. At that point you’re a guy who’s just seeking attention and needs to have some modesty. The same can be said for women.
If we want to see a change for the better and to stop sexualizing everything, we as men need to be the first to make that step. This is a two way street and we can’t just put all the blame on women like immature children.
Men Make Excuses For Pornography Even Though There Are Copious Studies Showing Its Harmful Effects On The Brain
This is one of the biggest things that just makes no sense. You can show these men thousands of medical studies and proof of porn having a literal negative impact on the human brain and they’ll still defend porn like their lives depend on it. On top of that, porn has only gotten more vulgar, rape-like, and worse due to consumers being more desensitized and they’re craving for more hardcore porn. This is what a society of porn addicted men looks like and there is rampant denial. The modern man is being held back and destroyed by porn and is just a sex crazed brain dead coomer now.
To the men who take issue with this, go ahead and abstain from all porn (this includes softcore and female nudity as well) for 30 days. We’ll see how long you last until you realize you really do have a problem. I’m calling you out. Do it, take the challenge.
I No Longer Look At Women Just For Sex And Hook Up Culture Disgusts Me
As a guy when all you do is watch porn, it’s so easy to think that all women just want to sleep with you all the time. This is far from the truth and is just dumb brainwashed coomer mentality. I used to just look at girls and think only about sleeping with them and then throwing them away like they were some piece of meat to be used for my pleasure. Absolutely terrible and disgusting way of thinking. But here’s the thing, I wasn’t the only guy who was thinking like that, and plenty of guys still do think like that.
Now I see the stupidity of my old past self. I think that hook up culture now is stupid and a waste of time because no one is winning from that. Men are just using women who want something real and instead it leads to jaded women. Women aren’t innocent of this themselves, but I can 100% say that we as men are partly responsible for creating a toxic dating environment and porn is one of the reasons for that because it’s warped our views on sex, intimacy, and companionship.
Porn Is Everywhere And It’s Not A Good Thing
I’m not just talking about hardcore porn either, I’m talking about softcore porn. This goes along with how everything is sexualized in today’s society and you see it ranging from TV shows were they put unnecessary sex scenes to spice up the show to social media where you have “models” (read escorts) basically posting nudes of themselves. There is literally 18+ content everywhere and kids have easy access to it. We’re living in a world where poison is readily available to kids and we’re doing nothing to stop it.
Porn Causes Men To Look At Women And Think They’re All Like Porn Actresses And That Porn Is Like Real Life – It Creates False Expectations
The amount of times I’ve been on a date with a girl and they told me their exes thought all girls could squirt, or that girls liked rough hardcore sex all the time, and wanted to be chocked without consent is ridiculously high. Simply put, porn warps men’s ideas of what sex is like and how women function. I was an idiot who thought like this too, but after just 90 days alone of being porn free (lol I know sounds like some infomercial), I started to realize, “Wow not all women want to sleep with a random stranger they just met. This isn’t like porn at all” and it’s like yeah no shit Sherlock!
If You Want To Grow And Become Better, The First Step Is Making A Personal Change, The Second Is Surrounding Yourself With The Right People/Environment
The first step in fighting off porn addiction is realizing that you have a problem and that porn truly is negatively impacting your life. And that’s not an easy thing. It’s very difficult because you’ve got to look in the mirror and be brutally honest with yourself. You have to take responsibility for your life and your actions and that’s a very scary thing for a lot of people, because when you take responsibility you’re saying this is all on you and if you fail it’s all your fault and no one else’s. But there’s a luxury to that because it liberates you from being chained to your toxic ways. You take control of your life and manifest your own destiny.
The second step is to find an environment that will help you achieve your goals and surround yourself with like minded people. What helped me was going on the NoFap subreddit (honestly also ignoring all of the weird posts about super powers) and reading YBOP success stories and seeing what other men have also gone through. Most people will call you an idiot if you go on NoFap, that’s fine, you shouldn’t care what others have to say when you’re literally trying to better your life and solve your problems.
I’ve Gotten My Freedom And Time Back
One of the best things about going on NoFap: I’ve gotten my clarity, peace of mind, freedom, and time back. When you watch porn and masturbate, you fail to realize just how long it takes for you to complete the act. 5 mins surely right? Wrong. Think about all the time you spend looking for that perfect video, switching from one video to the next, and then actually masturbating to all of them trying to climax. 5 mins? More like 20 mins minimum. And this is only if you masturbate to porn daily, not even how some men who do it more than once a day.
I know this is probably a weird or gross post for some of you to read, but honestly I’m just being real and honest. I want to share my honest opinions and tell what I think is true. If you’re suffering from porn addiction check out Your Brain On Porn, NoFap SubReddit, and Fight The New Drug. I think we live in a overly sexualized society and I think we as men need to start doing something about it and the first step starts with us. We’re part of the problem and we need to do a better job at how we treat women, what we consume, and how we manage our thoughts. Societies always collapse when hedonism runs rampant, and it’s up to us to prevent that collapse. Take responsibility and start striving to be a better man, and not be some disgusting urchin with burnt out dopamine receptors. Perhaps that’s a harsh statement, but that’s because I’m projecting my hatred and shame of my past and foolish ways. Hopefully this post was eye opening for some of you, and that you’ll see the perils of pornography and can use my story and 1 year journey as motivation and inspiration to begin on your own personal porn free journey as well.
I personally am still continuing NoFap because my life has been so much better as a result of it. You don’t have to abstain from masturbation personally, but I definitely advocate from cutting out porn from your life because it will only harm you.